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To Timitz : In the past widows with children and divorced women children were able to to find a man to take care of them and their children – they had no choice, they were completely economically dependent on men and there was a lot of widows because of the wars. Furthermore, there was much more orphans than now and most of them were adopted by families. Ever heard this expression : he raised him like his own son ?

david foster PERMALINK
December 18, 2009 11:39 pm
“more orphans than now”…some interesting history here:

Orphan Train History

I know about this only because of this song…Tom Russell does a very nice version.

December 18, 2009 11:52 pm
Sad song, david foster. Is it too much to ask for a child to want a happy family home, one dad, one mother… good cop, bad cop? Man, woman? Soft, hard? Why does it have to be so difficult?

December 19, 2009 1:47 am
No more mr nice guy:

do you think that all these women chose the wrong guy and all these fathers are bad fathers

No I don’t think all mistakes are made because of stupidity of choice. I think a number of factors influence relationship decline. It does in fact take two to make a relationship work – no matter how committed one might be that won’t cut it. Things can intervene which were unforseen at the time of the marriage – an addiction, an adulterous affair or abuse can occur without warning. Mind you I wonder what percentage of these issues could have been prevented by stopping relationships early at the first signs of red flags because often you could have detected warning signs of character flaws. Then again after the relationship is in full swing and solid along comes job stress, illness, family issues which can also affect relationships taking a terrible toll resulting in some of the above behaviors and these are difficult things to endure for either partner.

I’m not for no-fault divorce because I think today you see too many walk from a marriage which is really only going through a rough patch. Relationships are not disposable. Which is why I suggest you want to get to know who you are as well as who your potential partner is before doing something stupid.

On your second point I think there are terrific single dads. I think there are terrific single moms. I just think that sometimes those single parenting relationships could have been prevented. I think kids do suffer by being raised apart from another parent regardless of how well intentioned either parent is.