Submissive dating
Submission must be earned
Give me intensity or give me death!
Dating for a strong woman
Taking Sex Differences Seriously
Irreverent Look at the American Male
Dominant men: D/s vs. Taken In Hand
Love is a decision
For us, I know that the ideal is that my husband is emotionally and thoughtfully engaged (we both are) and that he also has the final say. My hope is that the responsibility of having the final say will keep him fully engaged because for me the engagement is the end goal. If I can only have one or the other, I would take the engagement and give up the decision making authority. I do like both though, so I think we will probably keep both. =)
I do not think his making the final decisions "proves" that he is engaged I just think they are both conditions of a particular type of Taken In Hand relationship. My question would be: if a man does not have the authority to make final decisions, what then does HOH mean? How would such a relationship function? I am not saying that it couldn't work, I just have no basis to imagine it and so I am curious.
Otter*
"The moment that I looked into your eyes, you owned me."
-Kenny Chesney
by Otter on 2005 Sep 5 - 01:14 | reply to this comment
leadership and the final say
>My hope is that the responsibility of having the final >say will keep him fully engaged because for me the >engagement is the end goal.
Hi Otter...This is my real point. A great amount of authority and control is expressed in a man's continuing engagement, his PRESENCE as I have recently called this on the taken in hand yahoo groups discussion.
Most of the time, at least over major or life changing decisions, a couple will come to some sort of agreement, other times the final decision is either clearly the man's to make anyway or is more rightly the province of the woman. In this latter case, the man is said to 'defer' to the woman because he respects her ability, her judgment, not to mention her superior abilities in some areas. So much is made of the actual final decision, whether the man makes it himself or defers it to his wife, that the whole process of PRESENCE and emotional involvement by both is not really talked about.
Submission must be earned
Give me intensity or give me death!
Dating for a strong woman
Taking Sex Differences Seriously
Irreverent Look at the American Male
Dominant men: D/s vs. Taken In Hand
Love is a decision
For us, I know that the ideal is that my husband is emotionally and thoughtfully engaged (we both are) and that he also has the final say. My hope is that the responsibility of having the final say will keep him fully engaged because for me the engagement is the end goal. If I can only have one or the other, I would take the engagement and give up the decision making authority. I do like both though, so I think we will probably keep both. =)
I do not think his making the final decisions "proves" that he is engaged I just think they are both conditions of a particular type of Taken In Hand relationship. My question would be: if a man does not have the authority to make final decisions, what then does HOH mean? How would such a relationship function? I am not saying that it couldn't work, I just have no basis to imagine it and so I am curious.
Otter*
"The moment that I looked into your eyes, you owned me."
-Kenny Chesney
by Otter on 2005 Sep 5 - 01:14 | reply to this comment
leadership and the final say
>My hope is that the responsibility of having the final >say will keep him fully engaged because for me the >engagement is the end goal.
Hi Otter...This is my real point. A great amount of authority and control is expressed in a man's continuing engagement, his PRESENCE as I have recently called this on the taken in hand yahoo groups discussion.
Most of the time, at least over major or life changing decisions, a couple will come to some sort of agreement, other times the final decision is either clearly the man's to make anyway or is more rightly the province of the woman. In this latter case, the man is said to 'defer' to the woman because he respects her ability, her judgment, not to mention her superior abilities in some areas. So much is made of the actual final decision, whether the man makes it himself or defers it to his wife, that the whole process of PRESENCE and emotional involvement by both is not really talked about.